Friday, August 27, 2010

In or Out

“I’m just far behind.” my friend sighs in confession.

I ask my friend from what is she behind, “Is it the fact that you haven’t had a boyfriend although you’re already a high school junior? “Yes”, she mutters in a subdued manner. “Well then why do you think you need a boyfriend?” I query. “Because...” then she trails off to silence.

I know why, I just want to hear it directly spewed from her mouth. Almost everybody is dying to get one, I guess, and being in an all-girls’ school, having one entails the backing up of popularity. That is if the guy is cute. But this is not just about who has a boyfriend or not, but also in the nimiety of all other aspects of a teenager or anybody’s life for that matter. It is about why others have to helm what one should have, do, and even think.

How does the negative pole of societal standard magnetize a positive person? You don’t know? Self-oppression is the answer. In order to be drawn by the chariots of influence, it is the charioteer’s one whip of the horse that starts his part in the deadly race. Meaning, it is up to you whether or not you want to be in, or otherwise.

I don’t believe my friend could be apprehensive in divulging her notion of being ‘far behind’ if it doesn’t affect her. Because I see that it does spread in her like fire and makes her forget about who she truly is by thinking about the need to have that boyfriend instead of focusing on her own endeavors and wants.  Sacrificing your own happiness for what others will think of you is not an option in life, especially when time evaporates swifter than water boiling above its boiling point. I tell my friend, “I think that you think you’re far behind because you let yourself be part of it. You dwell too much on what others have to say when you yourself have your own voice. You say what you want to yourself and follow it.”

Think Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl when she was still Little J, when she tried so hard to climb her way up the social ladder as Blair Waldorf helmed her entirety, just to fall back down, worse off than what she thought she used to be.  She vehemently said she knew herself, while she did things alien to what she would really do merely to be part of something not worth the while, not worth the long run. Was she happy? I didn’t think so, but she did pull out some white, furry lessons from the magic hat of her naïve shortcomings, which I reckon did not survive as the seasons progressed.

A plethora of written musings regarding this topic may constitute tub loads of news or magazine articles, books, and blogs, however these are things that are gravely intended to be reasoned and thought about. Yes life goes on, but will you let yours go on being dictated by what others say it should be? 

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